{"id":330,"date":"2011-03-03T17:10:25","date_gmt":"2011-03-04T00:40:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/salesjumpstart.net\/blog\/?p=330"},"modified":"2011-03-03T17:23:27","modified_gmt":"2011-03-04T00:53:27","slug":"if-google-was-an-air-traffic-controller","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salesjumpstart.net\/blog\/2011\/03\/03\/if-google-was-an-air-traffic-controller\/","title":{"rendered":"If Google Was an Air Traffic Controller"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"A<\/a>
Image via Wikipedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

If Google<\/a> was an airline traffic controller, and your site was a plane trying to land, the communication might start like and sound like this.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Stactic…..<\/p>\n

(Your Site) Good day\u00a0 Google master controller, this is site IP 123,76.900\u00a0 requesting landing on your front page under vector keyword category of “travel to Europe”\u00a0 over<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

LONG PAUSE……<\/p>\n

(GC) Static:\u00a0 ummm IP 123,76.900, this is Google master controller……. Static….\u00a0 umm we can not understand your request, can you change your meta data so we can understand you? . <\/span><\/span>IP 123,76.900\u00a0 recontact after changes if you like.\u00a0 Good day over\u00a0\u00a0 static<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Long pause<\/p>\n

Static….\u00a0 Okay dokie Google master controller,\u00a0 have corrected the data, and all should be well. Request landing on your front page,\u00a0 vector keyword “travel”\u00a0 Over.<\/p>\n

Long\u00a0 Long pause<\/p>\n

(GC) <\/span><\/span>Static…….\u00a0 Umm <\/span><\/span>IP 123,76.900\u00a0 please stay in holding pattern, we will get back to you as soon as possible.\u00a0 In the mean time you may want to view our help forums, Over<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Static…\u00a0 Google master control, this is IP 123,76.900,\u00a0 have check the other frequency<\/span><\/span> and found some help.\u00a0 Am making additional data changes to the site,\u00a0 and will be requesting landing once completed.\u00a0 …\u00a0 should note\u00a0 that I am running slightly low on traffic to the site and will need some visibility soon.\u00a0 Good day\u00a0 Over.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Static…<\/p>\n

(Your site) Google master control, this is me, <\/span><\/span>IP 123,76.900.\u00a0 Data changes made, can you check for clearance onto your front page under Travel?\u00a0 over.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Long silence…..<\/p>\n

Static\u00a0 .<\/p>\n

(Your site): Google master control.\u00a0 this is IP 123,76.900. I am begging.\u00a0 Over<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(GC)<\/span><\/span>:\u00a0 Static…….. <\/span><\/span>IP 123,76.900,\u00a0 we have reviewed your data, and are having difficulties approval landing.\u00a0 Have a nice day.\u00a0 Over . <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

static<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(YS) Google master controller for the love of gawd, we are dieing here. I told my boss we would have good traffic weeks ago….just give me a hint.!\u00a0\u00a0 good day\u00a0 Over.<\/p>\n

Silence<\/p>\n

Your Site:\u00a0 umm Google master Controller, boss just mentioned PPC would be cheaper than me.\u00a0 I have check with more of your “help” forums, run a report and adjusted what I believe may have been the problem with abundant stuffing of certain words\u00a0 ( 19% was a little high?). Please check and approve my request to land on your front page… vector… ummmm\u00a0 traveling to Europe from Chicago?….\u00a0 over.<\/p>\n

(GC)<\/span><\/span> IP 123,76.900,\u00a0 We are now reading your data.\u00a0 But because no one else is, we can not approve your landing at this time.\u00a0 Thank you, and PPC is always a good option…. over.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Static<\/p>\n

(Your Site): Google master controller, this is the new<\/em> pilot of IP 123,76.900.\u00a0 Please accept my apologizes oh great and mighty Indexer of all knowledge. We have started a PPC campaign, and are now sending your family $7000. a month.\u00a0 I have also added significant content to the site, hoping to attract attention.\u00a0 Requesting clearance to land on your front page under vector, \u00a0 \u00a0 ummmm\u00a0 …. \u00a0 Static… Travel to Europe from…ummm… Paducah Kentucky? ? Over.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(GC)<\/span><\/span>:\u00a0 Static …IP 123,76.900.\u00a0 Sorry,\u00a0 Your load times are to high to give permission at this time..\u00a0 Over<\/span><\/span>
\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\nIs this how it feels to some of us?\u00a0 Feel free to add to the landing dialog in the comments!
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Enhanced<\/a>